The world explained with two cows

The moment I received the ‘World explained with two cows’ email, I wanted to share it. It’s been around for years, and gradually gets updated and expanded.

I usually blog on the Donut websites. The Donuts are all about sharing after all — that was one of the reasons why we chose that name. But here’s a revised version for our very own blog. Enjoy.

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

BHP INFORMATION SOLUTIONS

You have two cows.

You feed them with donuts.

Both are content.

Rory MccGwire is CEO of BHP Information Solutions

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